TV's top 25 put-downs, plus a few more

The Radio Times has published its top 25 TV put-downs. As we'd expect from a middling publication, the results have been watered down, appealing to the middle-English, My Family-loving, comedy-without-an-edge crowd. They did include a couple of gems - namely from Mrs Merton, Blackadder, Basil Fawlty, Inspector Monkfish and Jim Royle - but here's a few off the top of my head that they neglected:

Tim loses his rag with a Sci-Fi shop customer in Spaced:

Tim: You are so blind. You so do not understand. You wern't there at the beginning, you don't know how good it was - how important. This is it for you: a jumped up firework display of a toy advert. People like you make me sick, what's wrong with you?

[Cuts to a scared little boy]

Tim: Now, I don't care if you've saved up all your 50p's, ok? Now take your pocket money, and get out... What a prick.

Gareth Keenan thinks he can win over Tim's new girlfriend in The Office (series 2):

Gareth: I can't believe you'd choose him over me for a start.
Tim: And why's that Gareth?
Gareth: Well look at your huge nose and your funny haircut... You look like a Fisher Price man

Dawn-obsessed Tim meets Wernham Hogg's favourite computer geek in The Office:

IT geek: You know Bruce Lee's not really dead, don't you? Yeah, it's in a book. What he did is faked his own death so he could work undercover for the Hong Kong police, infiltrating drugs gangs and the triads.
Gareth: Yeah I reckon that's true.
Tim: Yeah I reckon that's true because if you were going to send someone undercover to investigate the triads you'd probably want the most famous Chinese film star [Tim and his girlfriend laugh]
IT geek: Gone off Dawn now have you?

From Blackadder Goes Forth, while the boys are trying to entertain themselves before the big push:

Lieutenant George: So, what shall we do now then?
Private Baldrick: Shall I do my war poem?
Captain Blackadder: How hurt would you be if I gave the honest answer which is: no, I'd rather french-kiss a skunk?
Private Baldrick: So would I, sir.

Alan Johnson from Peep Show, on his medicinal techniques after making someone cry after their business presentation:

Sophie: I hope you two are pleased with yourselves, you made her really upset you know?
Johnson: Hey I'm just the doctor, I don't make the needles sharp!

Stella and Charlie from the League of Gentlemen - After arguing about whether the pieces are cheese or pie in Trivia Pursuit:

Stella: Go on, give me my question!
Charlie: I'll give you your question you stupid twat!

This 'put-downs' angle is one I'll return to time and again, I'm sure